No Entry

11.10.11

No entry.
No sex for me dear.
This is my blog, I write whatever I want.
But I have to warn everyone that this is a 18+ blog.


Suffering from Erotophobia:
It is the fear of sexual love or sexual questions. 
Erotophobes are less likely to talk about sex, have more negative reactions to sexually explicit material, and have sex less frequently.
The main cause for such a fear is created by the unconscious mind as a protective mechanism.
It may be the result of your past history. 
There may be an event linking sexual love or sexual questions and emotional trauma. 
At the same time, the original activator may have been a real-life scare of some kind, the condition can also be triggered by benign events like movies, TV, or perhaps seeing someone else experience trauma.

Pornography is something disgusting for me.
I am afraid of blood and I even afraid to look at my own virgina.
I am not proud to be a virgin or ashamed that I am still a virgin, I am more worry about my ability of having children in the future.
How to open up my protective mechanism mind? What is wrong with me?
Was it because of some my childhood traumas? Well there were a few...
Or was it because of my ex boyfriend dumped me over elder women and blamed me for not providing sex?
I hate sex so much when I knew he cheated on me.
I once wished every human does not have sex urge. 


Always wander in the middle of sleepless nights, I asked myself how long can this No Entry condition lasts between me and my current boyfriend?
When would I be ready?
Although my boyfriend is understanding and he doesn't mind but I think that I am abnormal.
Some close male friends told me that Erotophobia is something quite common in female, and I don't have to be ashamed of.


One of my girlfriend even suggested me to watch Sex and The City [plus some wine and I ended up obsessed with the drama.
My boyfriend is a workaholic and he is very busy with his new job, so we have to set the schedule for our intimate time. 
It sounds funny but it really works, because I am no more having to hope everyday and get disappointed all the time.
So we would watch Sex and The City before our intimate, hoping that there would be some hot sex scenes.
Well, not really every episode helps -- There was one episode about Carrie having a fight with Adrian and Miranda's mom passed away. 
That even worsen my mood and we had a little fight on the bed, so the intimate was blew off...


Well, don't rush, the time will come. 
Maybe I need to see a psychologist one day...