Shooting With 30 Polaroid Cameras

The Impossible Project PX600 Color Films

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12.06.2015

I've always wanted a Polaroid Camera when I was still working in Kuala Lumpur back in year 2009. At that time it seemed quite impossible to get a Polaroid camera in Malaysia and I wouldn't be able to afford the film anyway. But guess what, I met Gary a year later and he gave me my first Polaroid camera as a Christmas present! Since then, my life is filled with Polaroid cameras, not just one but all types of Polaroid cameras in different shape or form.. Because Gary is now full-time running a business called Film Never Die, selling every exciting Polaroid products under the sun!

YES! I am turning 30 today! What an awesome feeling! What a milestone! My parents must be very pleased to see their beautiful daughter turning 30 hahahaha! The last time I was excited about my birthday was when I was 21. I met an Aussie couple the other day, Naomi and Brad, who totally changed my perception on turning 30. When I told them that I am turning 30 this year, Brad was cheering while he was driving:" Wohoooo! Welcome to the club! 30 is awesome!" Just the way that they celebrate their age and the positive ways they look at things, it touch me deeply. Nicole, my beloved Kiwi friend, told me something inspiring this morning:"We are so lucky that we get to turn 30. Imagine how many people don't get to live until the age 30? We all get older, we don't get younger, that's how God makes things work." Yup, so why afraid of aging? I am turning 30 today and I am feeling so fabulous!

30 for me is the prime time in our lives. We have buying power, we build our own careers, we have freedoms to be creative, we are more matured than when we first graduated from Uni, we gained more knowledge, we will act with more wisdom (I hope), we are more capable to give help to friends who are in need, we can plan for our future better, we can plan to start a family and of course we  are starting to learn about babies too (from my friends)... The experience at this stage of life is totally different compared to 5 years or 10 years ago.

I've never thought that I would make it this far. Seriously. I have never loved myself, had a few failed attempts to commit suicides from 9 to 17 years old. I am an introvert since childhood and experience depressing teenage years. That's why I think my parents must be proud of who I am today. Happy children, happy parents. Long gone are the times when I was driving alone aimlessly in my hometown searching for my ex boyfriend who had turn off his mobile phone and was cheating on me, I could hardly see the road in front, because tears were all over my face. I yelled out loud to God ( I wasn't a Christian yet but my whole life I have been imagining a God looking after me from heaven):" God! Help me! God! Help me please!" Of course, things turned worse, and that 7 years of first love left a very deep impact in my life. I completely lost hope in relationship and marriage. 

This is the revelation from my relationship: I was heart broken and crying for God to bring back my ex boyfriend to me instantly,  although the fact that the relationship wasn't going anywhere further and it was certainly unhealthy. Little do I realised that, at that time when I was crying for God, God has already prepared a blessing in the future. Nothing that I would expect of. What I was expecting was for God to cease my pain at that time, but God knows what's best for me, and He wants me to be happy.

Who would have guessed that Gary is the one whom God has chosen for me? Hahahah! Yes, all of us couldn't believe that Gary and I would be together. We went to the same primary school, and we were in the same class when we were 10-years-old, and I hated Gary at that time... Isn't God full of surprises? He certainly has a huge sense of humour. Now, I have a great great man to hold my hands every night, telling me that he loves me. He prays for me, and he encourages me every single morning:" We can do it! God will bless us! Let's work hard together!" 

Looking back, I was an introvert little girl, self doubt, lack of self esteem, hot-tempered, being teased for my teeth, big butt, and tanned skin and these scared my whole life, plus I was anti social too. If you have known me since I was young, you would be glad to see the transformation that happened in me in these few years. I can now social, I can handle my clients by myself, and new friends thought that I am a social butterfly. And now I know how important it is to love myself. I feel good about myself and am thankful for every single healthy organs that God has given me.

My life is now being blessed abundantly, in my relationship with Gary and also with my family, and also in my life, career, health etc. I am blessed with very good friends by my side. I can say out loud that this is the happiest moment in my life. Happiness doesn't mean richness or any earthly recognitions. Happiness is so simple and so easy. Happiness is when me, Gary and Headie laughing while running in the open field wildly, under golden sunset. Happiness is when Gary picked me a yellow wild flower on a mundane day. Happiness is when Gary and I are doing silly dance with music from the PA system while shopping at Coles at midnight, when the aisle are all empty. Happiness is when my best friend's little baby girl gives me a kiss on my nose. I've tasted the bitterness in life, and now the sweetness. This is what a real life is: to be able to taste the bitter and sweet in life, fall down, get up, be transformed and keep walking. Of course the process of transforming is the hardest part, because we are against ourselves, not anyone else. It involves spiritual warfare, especially when you are fight your own enemy. 

One of my biggest weakness is hot-tempered. I get angry so easily. I would slam the door, throw stuffs around, called my mom a bitch, and domestic violence was part of my life. I just didn't know how to handle my emotions, because this was my background growing up. If it wasn't for the endless grace that Gary has shows me, and the teachings that I've learnt from church, I would never get to realise that I am wrong, and I needed to change. This doesn't happen within a week or two, when the change happen it doesn't mean that I do not get angry anymore. It takes time and a lot of patience, especially when I  have decided to change what was in my root for over 25 years. But, never ever say:"  It's impossible". Failing is never meant to be a process that is stopping us from trying AGAIN. 

For the past 3 years, I cried, I yelled, I lost my tempered, the more I got angry the more I hated myself. But this was what I realised: at least I realised that I am wrong when I get angry. One day last year, I was very very angry over someone, I went home and sat at my desk, my head was filled with all sorts of negative thoughts. My heart was aching, my face was tensed, the feeling of hatred was the worst feeling ever. Suddenly, the Holy Spirit spoke to me:" Wei Wei, this is the best time to practise the things that Jesus has taught you: love the ones who hurt you. Why get angry over things or people? Isn't there much more important things to do in this world? Isn't this the best time to manage your anger?" Peace fell into my heart instantly. The good news was,  I realised that I shouldn't be angry and should start doing something meaningful for the world. I think that's a pretty amazing milestone from where I came from. Yup, you will only grow when you are facing trials. If you never fail, you will never taste the sweetness that come after the failures. 

My grandpa is very funny. Two years ago on a Chinese New Year's day, grandpa overheard me telling my aunt Idy that I am turning 30 soon. Grandpa came over and said this out loud in Hakka dilect:" 哈？！啊薇三十岁啦？！女人三十未嫁烂茶渣！！！” Which means a 30-years-old single women are considered leftover bad tea leaves................ I know that sounds very funny, because for my grandparents and parents, they got married during a young age. I myself thought that I would be married by the age 24 when I was 8.

But today, I can proudly say that my 30th birthday is a fabulous one! And I would like to say THANK YOU to all the blessings and wishes. Thank you for spoiling me and making me feel special!

* Behind the scene: I was shivering under the 10 degree Celsius Winter evening. Thank you Kimi for helping in setting up the Polaroid cameras, pulling the super tight vintage dress and helping me to wear my shoes. Found this awesome $10 vintage 80's prom night dress from Retrostar's warehouse sale. It has huge sleeves and it is super tight on me (obviously it is not my size). I couldn't bend my body, and could hardly breath. We were losing the sunlight at 4.30pm, it was very cold, and my expired FP-100C Silk films wasn't developing, everything tensed me up. Thank you Gary for staying calm and helping me to get photos that I wanted. I wouldn't have these great Polaroid photos taken without the help of you guys :D

My cousin just got married!

                                                

           " The Bride" Impossible Poisoned Paradise - Fuchsia 600 colour film

27.05.2015

Gary was excited over Tottenham playing Malaysia XI team in Shah Alam, Malaysia, so I asked him to give my dad a call to tell dad about the game (they are both soccer fans, Dad’s a Gunner).  It was 10.30pm in Melbourne, we just came back from prayer meeting at church and I was cooking instant noodle for supper. Gary put dad on loud speaker, we could hear a noisy background at dad's side.

Dad said:" I am having buffet dinner."

Gary:" Oh where is the buffet?"

Dad:" It's Pik Hong's wedding today! Wei's cousin sister just got married!" 

Gary:" Enjoy your buffet uncle! Remember to watch Tottenham play after your dinner."

I stood in the kitchen and I was thrilled to hear the news. I went into the room and picked up my mobile phone, texted my brother requesting him to send me a photo of my cousin Pik Hong and her husband. 

Childhood memories are flashing back, memories that I have already put aside,  but not forgotten...

Pik Hong is my cousin sister, who is about five to six years older than me. I have no sister or elder siblings thus she is like an older sibling that I admire and look up to. I have never seen anyone like her, she is the coolest person I knew growing up. She's not only very beautiful, she is also bold, brave, adventurous and charismatic. She is the centre of attention wherever she goes. She can play the piano and she can swim too. She is trendy and also a fashionista.  I wished I could play piano like her. So one day I told mom:" Can you ask Pik Hong jie jie to teach me piano?" Mom did ask her. But omg, I was so shy that I kept shaking my head and hid behind of my mom. 

Pik Hong was an icon to me, she has good taste in fashion. I so wished I could have the clothes that she wore. My first time stepping into a Calvin Klein store was with her, because I wanted to learn about her fashion world. She would take a long time trying on jeans inside the fitting room. With the sales person stood beside me, I stood like an ostrich, with my head buried down to my chest, I was so scared to be left alone in a branded goods store in a big city (I tagged along her family trip to Kuala Lumpur).

My personality was completely opposite of her. I was extremely shy, timid, lack in self confidence and I am an introvert. Can you imagine how an introvert little girl who sometimes get to hang out with her beautiful cousin and how much this little girl admires the cousin? Pik Hong grew up with my other cousin sisters but I didn't quite fit in the gang. I still remember she likes to tell ghost story. Me and the other cousins would cover ourselves under a blanket, turned on a torch light, and listened to Pik Hong's ghost stories. I ended up having sleepless nights.

During the age of 8 to 12, me and my brother often had sleep over at Pik Hong's house, but I regretted each time when we arrived at their house, because I would have homesick (I didn't realise our houses were only 20 minutes away, and back then we had no mobile phone). My brother and Pik Hong's brother are playmates, but I was left alone, admiring Pik Hong's collection of toys and storybooks.

Pik Hong has beautiful long black hair. I remember touching her hair, it is very beautiful. Me on the other hand, have curly hair and that time my hair was short. Sometimes she would laugh at my short curly hair. Looking back, I was like an ugly duckling haha! I love playing with the ribbon hairpins of hers, they were beautiful to me. Because of her, I got to listen to Madonna and Faye Wong, and just because she liked Faye Wong, I chose to like Faye Wong too.

During sleep over, Pik Hong would cook us Maggie curry mee for supper. I still remember they had a red cooking pot at home. She cooks the best Maggie mee that I've ever tasted. I am serious. I would never forget how perfectly she cooked the Maggie mee for us. Then we went to bed with a happy tummy. There was one midnight, I had to go to the loo, but I was so afraid of the dark, thankfully this big sister didn't refuse to get out of the bed and take me to the toilet. We were making decision whether to go to the toilet first, or to get a glass of water at the kitchen first. 

There was once all of us went to watch Pik Hong singing in a choir. It might be her primary school graduation night, I don't quite remember because I was too young. It was an event in an open field, maybe it was a stadium. The choir was so so far away from us. We didn't even get to sit down, we were standing at far back behind of the audience. My aunt and other elder cousins had to tip toe to watch her. Which one is Pik Hong? We probably needed a telescope at that time. And the young cousins were begging:" I want to see, I want to see!" So my aunt and the elder cousins lift us up and pointed to where Pik Hong was in the choir group.

Once in a blue moon, Pik Hong would follow her mom visit to my house. Oh that was the happiest moment in my mundane life! You have no idea how privilege it is to get to spend time with your icon. I clearly remember that day, it was a fine afternoon, we lied on my parents' bed, hung our feet on the wall, looked out at the window and the sky, and she would share with me about the boys she met and a few little secrets. Oh boy, during those time, I wished I was as popular as her! 

My aunt, Pik Hong's mother, is a very caring mother. She is elegant, knowledgeable and smart. I think my uncle is a cool and handsome man too. He is always chilled, but I was very shy to talk to him, actually I was quite afraid of him, because he burps very loud and he is hairy. My aunt and uncle played a big part in our childhood. They are a generous couple who brought me, my brothers and other cousins out for good dims sums (yum cha) lunch and trips to Kuala Lumpur and Genting Highlands. My aunt herself is quite adventurous, she brought us to waterfalls, she taught me how to swim, and we even played water in the drain beside her house (it was a very clean drain where it had spring water from the hill).

When I was 11-years-old, I followed Pik Hong's family for a holiday trip to Hong Kong. There was one night in Shenzhen, we couldn't figure out how to turn off the bedside lamp, so we covered the lamp with the bed sheet and a pillow. The next afternoon when we came back from a site seeing, the manager of the hotel complaint to my uncle that the bed sheet got burnt. Ooops, luckily my uncle got the bill fixed and it did’t resulted in a fire.

The last time I saw Pik Hong was about six years ago, at another cousin sister's wedding. And the last time we contacted in Facebook was in 2014, when she knew my brother had run away from home, she offered help, which really brought huge comfort to me. 

Now, looking at Pik Hong and her husband's wedding photo that my brother sent me, I burst into happy tears. She is still the beautiful cousin I ever had. My beautiful cousin just got married!!! My brother sent me a voice message of Pik Hong thanking my wishes and she would like to have a catch up with me when I am back to Kuantan. Although I was not invited to her wedding (just kidding), I wish her happiness from the bottom of my heart. I am happy to see her find her true love who will cherish her during her ups and downs, and gosh I must say to get my beautiful cousin sister, how lucky her husband must be! 

With tears in my eyes, I told Gary all about my childhood memories with Pik Hong. More and more memories are flashing back.

To my dear cousin, I wish you a very happy marriage, I am truly happy for you. Thank you so much for being my friend and accepted me for who I am :)

* Behind the scene of the Polaroid photos: the veil was a curtain I bought from a second hand shop, the white vintage dress was thrifted from a second shop too, and the flowers were cut by Gary from outside my window (the flowers are actually quite bad in smell) haha!

The Lost Little Red Riding Hod

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27.11.2014

Little red riding hood

Lost in the wood

Fear not when you could not see clearly now

To find the way out you mustn't stop searching

I haven't been writing or posting on this blog for more than six months, which also means that I am getting busier with my wedding photography business and posting on another blog: Aweiding.blogspot.com. A lot of things happened, and things happened to me everyday. Maybe I am sentimental enough to sense things around me and put them into stories. 

Last month, I was thinking of this while editing photos:" Oh God, please tell me how can I save up for our wedding ceremony? I wish, I wish my photography business will start to gain recognition so that I can save up some money..."

Not long after that day, an business opportunity knocked on my door. It was too surreal to be true. Yet, I am feeling reluctant to step out of my comfort zone and start an adventure. Future is unpredictable, men will never not know what plans are waiting ahead for them. Friends gave me mixed reviews, which cause me undecided in making my decision. But I know, no matter what other said to me, the only one that I can trust and rely on, is our Creator. Oh heavenly Father, if this is Your great plan for my future, please show me signs, or open the right door. Although I am feeling reluctant, but I know every step that I am taking is a process of character building. Step by step I will overcome my fear, and step by step I will build up my character.

Something I learnt from church: every single "boring" routine that you are doing everyday, is actually a step to bigger success in the future. Yes, I am editing photos in front of the computer everyday, sometimes my shoulders are sore, sometimes my body is aching, sometimes I get headache... But when I see the big smiles on my clients' faces, all these are so worthy. And I am so thankful and honoured for experienced photographers who see the potentials in my works, it makes every single "boring" step worth a lot. 

Somehow I can feel that the Holy Spirit was whispering in my heart:" Do not be afraid, just take the opportunity and walk with God. You will be alright." 

I will be ALRIGHT! If I want the rainbow, I must first have the rain. A new season is coming!

*

A Year of Adventure

*

2013 has been a great year for me. There were a lot of ups and downs, but I also witnessed how God walked with me and built my faith whenever I was facing trials in many kinds. 

This year, I prayed a Sun Stand Still prayer, and I know that adventures are waiting ahead of me. I don't know what God will take away from me so that I will not be too comfortable in my life in order to achieve my audacious vision. 

After two years of being a Christian, I slowly discover the gift that God has given to me, and the reasons why He designed me to be like me - an introvert with sensitive feeling, but love to be the center of attention. 

And because of the Sun Stand Still prayer that I prayed, things that seemed impossible to me started to become possible. I can see God's abundant blessings pouring onto me. Amazing, that feeling is truly amazing at the moment when I witness God's blessing.

Yet, I must remain humble - I am here to serve others, with all that God has given me. Like what others said:" What you have, is a gift from God, what you will become, is a gift for God."

***

All photos were taken in Mont Salvat, with Polaroid SLR 690 and Polaroid PX680 color films.

                                                                                                                                    

                                                                                                                                   

Unwrap The Gift

My faith was torn to shreds
Heart in the balance
But you were there

Always faithful
Always good
You still have me
You still have my heart

I thought I had seen the end
Everything broken
But you were there

You have me
You have me
You have my heart completely

17.11.2013

      We missed the morning church service, so we planned to visit to Planet Shakers' 5.30pm church service. An hour before we head to Planet Shakers, I told Gary I had a headache and felt like skipping church (again). Gary's immediate reaction was:"Hah I knew you would act this way every time before church! It's either headache or gastric, can't your enemy be any more creative?" Alright, he was right, the enemy was TRYING to stop me from going to church again, but I MUST not be defeated! 

             This was our second visit to Planet Shakers and there was water baptism, the first time we visited to Planet Shakers was a water baptism service too... Is God HINTING us? 

             The culture in Planet Shakers always overwhelms me, they dance they sing whatever they like to express their love, they never care how others would look at them. At the end of the service, guest speaker Pastor Tim Hall asked for people who has digestive problem to go up on the stage to be prayed for and a lot of people went up until the stage couldn't fit them all. Pastor Tim touched every single person and prayed in a loud and confident voice:" In the name of Jesus, HEAL!" One by one the people on stage start dropping on the floor. This was so overwhelming for me! I was like a kid watching magic show from my seat, clapping my hands and keep asking Gary:" Is this for real? What if they are just acting? Why would they fall? This is so unbelievable! Wow!" Yup I saw people dropping on the floor in front of my own eyes, but I didn't believe it's real because it didn't look logic to me. Yup I doubted.

             Pastor Tim then came down from the stage and prayed for some of the audiences. A guy from the worship team fell even before Pastor Tim touched him, and Pastor said:" He loves to be anointed." While Pastor was walking closer to our seats, my tears started to roll out, and I told Father God:" God if you see me, please make me fall, because I want to believe this is real! I want to know I will fall just like others..." 

          Pastor Tim asked:" Those who never been touched by the super natural please come forward to be prayed." Gary pulled me to the altar, I was so freaked out because I was doubting! I wanted to hide behind of Gary but of course I shouldn't stand behind him because he might fall on me. When it's my turn to be prayed for, I held my fists tightly, my body was shivering, my eyes and mouth opened so big, my tears were rolling out uncontrollably (including liquid from my nose), I was so terrified! Why was I not in peace? 

              Looking at my terrified face with tears and liquid all over, Pastor Tim shouted:" Someone please come and pray for this lady! Someone please!" Haha he knew that I would not fall because I was lack of faith! A lady called Anna came and prayed for me and I cried badly. She asked me:" Do you believe in Jesus? Are you baptized in the Spirit?" I believe in Jesus but I haven't been baptized in the Spirit. So Anna said she would pray for me to speak in tongue. In my mind I doubted more, I didn't ask for it (well actually I was thinking about speaking in tongue few days ago) and I wasn't ready for it, there's no way I would speak in tongue now! Anna asked me to speak out like a baby, whatever word in my mind just speak it out, don't be shy, and she started to pray for me in tongue. I didn't know what to expect, my mind was blank. "Speak it out, you need to speak it out, I can see the Holy Spirit is in you."Anna said. While she continued to pray, there's a word in my mind. Oh God I wasn't sure if I was mimicking her or I was really baptized in the Holy Spirit. The music on the stage started to climax, I braved up myself, opened my mouth and tried to spit out the word, although I wasn't sure if it's from God... Such a mixed feeling!

              According to Anna I was baptized in the Holy Spirit. I told her I thought I was mimicking her. She said it doesn't matter, don't let the enemy tell me it wasn't from God or I was mimicking others, the word doesn't come from no where, it came from God. She's right, instead of disbelieving, I must believe it's from God! She told me, speaking in tongue is like going to the gym to build your body, if we stop going to gym, our body will go out of whack. 

             On the way home in the car, I got Gary to practice speaking in tongue with me, as loud as we could and we felt good! Few months ago, I was actually quite stress that I haven't been baptized in the Holy Spirit. During my visit to Olivia's Connect Group, Nicole offered to pray for me, and she prayed in her heart without saying it out. Suddenly I felt the goose bumps and God told me:" Because you don't believe in me." Wow that was the first time I heard God so clearly and I started to cry! Only Father knows my heart, He knows everything about me. That night I told Olivia about my stress. She told me that, speaking in tongue is a promise from our Father, and what He promised, we will surely receive. Treat it like a Christmas gift, we know that we will receive our gifts during Christmas, but Christmas is not here yet, when Christmas is here then only we get to unwrap the gift prepared by Father. Olivia was so right and since then, I never stress about it anymore.

           I shared with Olivia about my baptism in the Holy Spirit and I thought I was mimicking Anna. Olivia told me, it's obviously from God because I wasn't ready, I wasn't trying hard, and most importantly I didn't plan for it, the word just came into my mind, so I just need to believe it's from God and cherish my gift! No matter which way I choose, Father is always loyal to us. If we chose the wrong path, He will guide us back to the right path.

       The next day Gary came across an article: " Don't use your logic mind, just BELIEVE." When Gary was being prayed by Pastor Tim, he actually felt the numb in his legs and he almost felt on the floor. Chong Wei Wei, no more doubt, no more disbelieve, you must believe! For man, many things are impossible, but for God, everything is POSSIBLE!

Adrien Fournier

"Idioteque"

by Radiohead

Who's in bunker, who's in bunker
I've seen too much
I haven't seen enough
You haven't seen enough
I'll laugh until my head comes off
Women and children first
And children first
And children

Ice age coming, ice age coming
Let me hear both sides
Let me hear both sides
Let me hear both..

       Thank you Adrien for willing to be topless in a cold winter morning for photo shoot. Joel, our housemate moved out and gave me his beautiful English style flower couch. I love it so much and started to plan a few photo shoots with the couch before the couch is given away to our neighbour. 

       I tried to learn some French vocabularies from Adrien, but I gave up, because my tongue doesn't like to pronounce French words. What a coincidence that I cooked Thai Tom Yam soup on the first day Adrien arrived in Melbourne, he couldn't bear the spiciness and ended up ate nothing for dinner - not a good experience for his first day in Melbourne. We chatted about his hometown, Chartes in France, and had a look at his grandparents' house, uncle's house and his house from Google Map - it's always interesting to hear about other's story. You will be one of the top skater in the world! We will miss you deeply Adrien!

                                                                                                                                                 Fuji FP-100C Films

The King of Glory

Who brings our chaos back in order

Who makes the orphan a son and daughter

The King of glory

The King above all kings

This is amazing grace

This is unfailing love

That You would take my place

That You would bear my cross

You would lay down your life

That I would be set free

Jesus I sing for

All that you've done for me

26.06.2013

     Both of us were feeling miserable and low energy this morning, uncertain about our career and future. I sat at my desk and look out the window - I saw the most beautiful sunlight that shone through the meadows and trees, and I prayed for heavenly Father to take away all my worries, just take away my earthly worries, Father, I didn't know what to ask for but I know I need you although the circumstances in front of us always seem challenging or hopeless, but Father You have a plan for all of us, and You answer before we even ask.

        An hour of working later I checked my mail box and opening mail box is like opening a Christmas present, I don't know what waits ahead of me but I always hope it's something good that sent from God, such as people request me about my photography service. To my surprise, I got an email from Eswar and Karen who requested me about Wedding Day Photography service. WOHOOOOOOOOOOO! I tried to stay calm and found that the email that sent from Eswar and Karen was the time just after I prayed!!! How amazing is God! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh praise God! I couldn't stop boasting about what God has done for me again and shared this good news with my housemates and friends from church and also wrote a message to thank Eric Hew for recommending my photography service to Eswar and Karen.

        A week later Eswar and Karen dropped by at our Polaroid gallery and we had a great chat. They are so easy going that I can't be more thankful. Thank you Father so so much for sending me such a beautiful and nice couple. Sometimes I am afraid that some of the potential clients will run away, but it's funny when Eswar told me that he was afraid to me run away.

        I always doubt about myself, I try to use my gift in art to honour God although I wasn't sure how, I try to do everything with mercy and grace, and I try not to care about gaining recognition from men... It is a hard learning process, to learn to not to serve in the spotlight but to serve in the shadow, but I must always remember that God weighs the heart, not the treasure or recognition we gain on earth. 

        Now I understand that when the heart is right, God will continue to be faithful to us, for He wants us to be fruitful. Sometimes it's just about the right timing for the blessing to come, it might seem hopeless now because we are unable see the future, so we are easily condemned by the circumstances which we are facing. If we never taste the bitterness, we will never appreciate the sweetness.  I am learning to be steadfast - no matter how hard life seems to be, I believe that Father will provide. Why worry? Just be patience and wait for His timing, we will certainly witness His glory, because He loves us crazily.

*

Eloise Grills

" Dreams Never End " 
by New Order

My promise could be your fiend
A given end to your dreams
A simple movement or rhyme
Could be the smallest of signs
We'll never know what they are or care
In it's escapable view
There's no escape so few in fear
Give in a changing value

Her cardigan is from Japan and her skirt is from Amsterdam.
She loves Homer and she has the coolest tattoo ever!

Oh I love the writer's vintage style!

It took us some time to pronounce her name properly,

it's pronounced as Elle + Loiuse. 

When I first saw her outside our Polaroid gallery,

 she was wearing a red vintage skirt and writing an article for FilmNeverDie.

The sun shined on her pink hair and I thought:

"Wow I must take a photo of her."

*

        Polaroid PX680 Colour Film

I'm Not Yours Anymore

" I'm Not Yours Anymore "

Light me up a cigarette and put it in my mouthYou're the only one that wants me aroundAnd I can think of a thousand reasons whyI don't believe in you, I don't believe in you and I

Light me up a cigarette and put it in my mouthYou're the only one that wants me to dieAnd I can think of a thousand reasons whyI don't believe in you, I don't believe in you

I'm not yours anymoreI'm not yours anymoreNo, I, I'm not yours anymoreI'm not yours anymore

                                                                                                                                     polaroid px680 protection film