Cat Woman

天师与我

*

在很久很久以前     

你拥有我 我拥有你

在很久很久以前 

我离开你去天空翱翔

外面的世界很精彩

外面的世界很无奈

当你觉得外面的世界很精彩

我会在这里衷心的祝福你

*

二零一二年十月十号凌晨五点半

被你的哭声惊醒

把你从屋后沟渠旁救回家

战战兢兢的你连路也还没走稳

哭不停找妈妈

弟弟为你取名“天师”

你是我生平

第一只养在房里的猫

抱你在怀里喂你喝奶瓶

见证你第一次学会大小解

每晚为你写《猫猫日记》

我读圣经   你咬圣经

自从有了你我分身乏术

照顾你之余也不能让家里的狗吃醋

自从有了你我没晚好睡

我们相依为命   我甚至载着你出坡公干

你愈来愈调皮   让我想起这首儿歌

“小猫咪呀小猫咪 你是坏东西。。。”

喜欢看你跌倒在地上翻来翻去也翻不起来

或者看你沿着床边埋伏我然后虎假猫威地攻击我！

又或者硬硬地把头塞进我的颈下找个窝

又或者在我的肩膀上睡着害我睡歪颈

又或者牙齿痒时找不到我的手指于是咬我的脸耳口鼻

两星期后被你咬过的伤口出现红疹 

四次求医   推测应该是皮肤对你的口水过敏

越来越恶化

越来越痒

越来越无奈

被逼把你养在厨房里

我却在房里哭泣

神啊！你让我听见了天师的哭救

我们有着很开心的时光

我感谢你赐我我梦寐以求的灰猫

但为什么最后的下场是这样？

花了很多钱医我的皮肤

半夜痒得我发疯   血压也低得吓人

别人讽刺我花太多时间力量金钱自讨苦吃

“野猫当宝。。。”爸爸说

爸爸你可发现这是你们给我的遗传

我不能救完全世界的野猫

但我能改变这只野猫的一生

就因为我听见了它

为何你们视而不见   听而不闻 ？

什么时候 你们的心被硬化了？

感谢神为天师找到了最好的主人

回到墨尔本

我不能不想念你

我不能不每晚哭泣

又有谁能明白把孩子送人的心情？

又有谁能明白我心如刀割？

又有谁会知道什么是相思成病？

我更明白爸爸妈妈在夜里因思念我们而偷偷哭泣
  

*

给天师

在很久很久以后  

你的记忆力里没有我

但在我的心中

你曾经是我的孩子

*

原始人

Fuji FP-3000B film

原始人不走康庄大道

走长满杂草的小路

她什么都没有

只有对艺术的热忱

她什么都不怕

因为她相信神

她庆幸父母没有对她的钱途施压力

只要她健康开心地活着

她没有能力给父母任何的物质享受

但她给的是很多很多无价的爱

人想要的很多 需要的不多

只要她知足 就心中富有

“不要为生命忧虑吃甚么、喝甚么，为身体忧虑穿甚么。

生命不是比饮食重要吗？身体不是比衣服重要吗？

不信上帝的人追求这一切；你们的天父知道你们的需要。

所以你们不要为明天忧虑，因为明天自有明天可

忧虑的事；今天已经有足够的事，让你们今天忧虑了。”

马太福音  第6章

不要再

一天一天 看日出日落

看月圆月缺 年复一年的经过

怕潮起潮落 怕患得患失

活着只会呼吸吃饭喝水的生活

难道要等到知道明天将离开
才在这二十四小时里积极追求梦想？
人生在世上短短的几十年因害怕 错过了什么？

很感谢社会对她的褒贬
感谢支持她的人
关心她的人
更感谢不看好她的人

她明白有梦想的人
不是活在社会眼光下的人

Zebra's Shower

Polaroid Blue Film

I Exalt Thee

I Exalt Thee

I Exalt Thee

Oh Lord

Shower time is my me time. 

Imaginations are pouring out like water during my shower, and it's also the time when I speak to God and praise God.

There was once in the middle of shower, 

I felt like thanking God for every nature He had created for us. 

But I did not know that while I was thanking him, 

a burglar actually climbed into my housemate's room, 

passed by the toilet and went into my room to took away our coins!

Thank you God for keeping me safe and let the burglar walked passed me.

Imagine what could happened if the burglar came into the toilet?!

Another praise report is that I have granted my Temporary Residence Visa in Australia!

WohooOoOOOoOOoooOOOOOoo! 

I have been waited for fourteen months for the immigration officer to contact me, 

not until my bible study fellows prayed for me a month ago, 

everything just seem to come into place!

Now I am "someone with identity" and I am eligible in applying for a job and a Medicare card!

How great is that!

Our church held a fasting program called Deeper from 30 July to 19 August, 

where the whole church fast and prayed together.

Some were fasting from coffee, soft drink, sweets, social media, television etc, while me and my boyfriend were fasting from meat, watching movie and eating out. 

For the past three weeks I was cooking vegetarian food everyday! 

I felt my body was so energetic and motivated in completing my work! 

When we were craving for meat or eating out, we chose to read his words, 

rather than just follow our own will. 

When we were craving from watching movie, we opened the Bible instead.

In the beginning it wasn't easy, we didn't really eat vegetarian food until the third day of fasting.

But it really made a different when you thought: "Hold on... I actually don't need all these!

I might have made a decision fasting from meat, but the meaning behind the fasting is far more powerful because I am one step closer to Him! "

Being able to control how we deal with circumstances rather than allowing circumstances control us really got us out of our comfort zone and became closer to God!

And my Temporary Residence Visa was granted just right after the Deeper program and fasting!

How great is our God!

Miss Rabbit

polaroid brown film

A big big hug to my boyfriend for capturing the best shot of mine.

We were wondering, it would be very awkward if anyone of my neighbours pass by 

the window and saw a huge naked butt by sitting the window... 

Haha! 

*

I am in love with European films.

One of the things I do the most since I moved to Melbourne is watching European films. 

Some of the story plots are weird, some are insanely funny, and some are really disturbing. 

90% of the European films that I've watched from television contained nudity.

For the first few months I was having culture shocked and wondered,

why do French love to have nude scenes in their films?

Is this how they celebrate love and sex?

Now I am able to watch the nude scenes with different perspective, 

not with a lusty way, but to appreciate the artistic parts of them.

European films are really entertaining!

Here are some of the films that I like:

 C.R.A.Z.Y. (Canada) - crazy gay plot

Solino (Germany) - nasty brother

Black Ice (Finland) - disturbing

Amreeka (U.S) - love this one!

A Song For Martin  (Sweden) - middle age's romance

 La Vie En Rose (France) - beautifully sad

Gilles's Wife (France) - similar plot to "Black Ice", do not under estimate your wife

Mommo the Bogeyman (Turkey) - one of my favourites

Empties (Czech Republic) - affair happens in all ages

Silent Souls (Russia) - awarded the Golden Osella for best cinematography 

Gainsbourg (France) - the cabbage head is really disturbing me recently...

Father's Chair (Brazil) - beautiful and genuine 

*

The Nude Project

polaroid brown film

Time to BREAK THROUGH!

On my desk there's a book of <<Desk-Top Mood Maker>>, it says: 

Take a risk! Do something different!

I am been eagerly crying for a break through and then my 27th birthday came... 

What have I done for the past 27 years??? 

The flame inside my heart keep burning and burning everytime when I attend church service, 

I am just desperate so so so desperate for a break through! 

So after my birthday, I told my boyfriend my plan of  nude photography and he shall be the photographer. He is extremely supportive to any of my projects which I can't find that in anyone else. Before the first nude photo shooting session in our house, he murmured:

" Am I ready to let the world see my partner's naked photo?" 

Come on babe, it's just a nude photo! 

We were worrying how my family and friends or those who know me would react to my nude photos. But the reason I want to do this project is to break through myself, 

and everyone else's mindset - this is not a PORNOGRAPHY. 

Growing up in an Asian background, we often get "excited" and over react towards nudity.

On the contrary, nudity is a very common subject in western culture. 

Why can't I do this? 

I am just a normal person who live a normal life
if I care what my friends and family would think of me,.

I am so gonna do this and I don't care what others would comment about my big butt 

and fat cellulite legs, this is me! The real me! 

There is nothing else to be afraid of in this world after doing this project, 

because I need to break through for myself, and not anyone else.

My boyfriend gave me a very good encouragement on my nude project :

And when the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; 

and they sewed fig leaves together, 

made themselves aprons. 

Genesis 3:7

That's the idea. Before Adam and Eve ate the fruit from the tree of knowledge, 

they had no shame for their naked body. 

Sometimes, are our eyes opened too wide to see and accept everything 

that is interpreted by the media? 

Why are we so ashamed of our own body and comparing every part of ourselves with others? 

Why do some people over reacted towards nudity? 

Why do some people interpret nude as the most unacceptable thing in the world?   

After all, nude photography is not as easy as it seems. 

How to show the aesthetic value in my poses when I am not wearing anything? 

How to capture the best angle to bring out my message in each photo?

I am just hoping we can get back to basic - 

on how we see things in the world with no stereotype or judgement.

This Winter in Polaroid II

It only took me two days to finish shooting the whole pack of Polaroid films. 

Woke up everyday in the morning and started to think: oh what shall I shoot? 

What's best for winter? I really enjoy the creative process of generating ideas for my photo shooting - squeezing out the best in me! 

Some would ask me what do I do with all the Polaroid films? 

At first I didn't know how to answer that question... 

Maybe I am just too passionate into Polaroid and thank God my job is selling Polaroid films and cameras - I love my job! 
I think I have roughly taken 1600 pieces of Polaroid photos...

If you are visiting to Melbourne, please feel free to pay me a visit and I will show you my wall and toilet that are fulled with Polaroid photos! 

Best of all, you will be on my Wall-of-Fame!

1) Yellow flowers in the bush

2) Blue winter sky

3) I had some ginger beers this winter!

4) My horses on white window frames

This winter in Polaroid

Eric generously presented me his last pack of old Polaroid 600 film for my birthday.

Winter seems to be forever and I can't wait until Spring to use the Polaroid film! 

So I put this winter into warm Polaroid frames.

1) Pale pink roses outside my window

2) Dry branches in front of my apartment

3) Sun set in the bush

4) An old church near my house

Black Birthday

All I want is black balloons for my birthday.

Perhaps I can have a black wedding one day, or a gothic wedding... 
But the elderly will definitely forbid me to do so. 

One of my male classmate started to call me "black cat" when we were 13 years old, so the others followed, therefore "black cat" became my nickname during high school. 
Why "black cat"? He said I have cat's eyes, and tan skin. 
This guy has a "meow" or "miao" as his middle name, which made me think it's so funny for the "miao" to call me "black cat".

We are busy converting our garage into a small home business - selling Polaroid films and cameras.

Now my favourite black winter jacket is all covered with white paint (which I am quite upset with) after three days of painting the ceiling, wall and furniture.
We are not the fussy type - we just bought the cheapest wall paint and used it universally on everything.


I must do some portrait shoots with the seasoned wall and ceiling before converting the garage into a white SOHO (small office/home office). Thanks to Kit for lending me his 11mm wide angle lens, otherwise we would have problem putting me in the frame.


And also thanks to our generous owner for allowing us to convert the garage into a SOHO. But painting this 70 years plus old garage is not an easy job - sand and cement was peeling from ceiling and hitting our eyes, faces and heads while we were applying layers of paint. 


Yay! We are opening our SOHO during mid winter and we shall have black pudding!

Black Winter

The Black Witch arises in winter

Using Black Balloons as her potions

Giving them to the pretty girls in town

She will forever be the prettiest girl 

Black and White are my all time favourite colours. 

Matt once asked me what's my favourite colour? I answered black and white.

"It's monochrome, not colour." he said. 

He's right, and then I was thinking hard what's my colour beside black and white? I am still pondering...

Finally I bought myself some black balloons! Black balloons! Don't they look cool?!

Bringing black balloons back to the car with joy and singing "yayay yayay", I felt like I was the most annoying person but I don't care! I have black projects to do!

Black dresses are just lovely. They are the saviour for wardrobe malfunction - you will never go wrong.

I wander if there is anyone who doesn't have a black piece in her wardrobe?

On the contrary I never have a pink piece in my wardrobe.

Or is there anyone who wears only black in her whole life? Interesting person hey!

Black hair looks sexy, with red lips and a black dress (sounds like Amy Winehouse, but I prefer Kristen Stewart's style). 

I simply accept the fact that I am not born with an angelic face, so I need to be confident with my witchery look.

Oh and don't forget about the black nail polish! Mom used to complain about my all-black style, but then she dyed her hair back to black, put some black pieces on her and tried my black nail polish, she just looked so hot! Well done on the make over, mom.

Whenever I feel clueless in editing a photo, black and white will save my day, or the photo.

Simply convert a colour photo to black and white... Poff! I always fall into the "black" magic!

Black June

We only said good-bye with words

I died a hundred times

You go back to her

And I go back to black

It's a damp cold June. I decided to celebrate June with six black balloons.

With no time to grief, I keep walking, keep walking with my black balloons... 

And letting them go one by one, just like how I decided to let go the sorrow I have been carried for the past ten years.

Black is my colour. Some said I have a witchery look, some said I am a emo queen.

The Satan never stop trying to disturb me as he sees potential in me...potential in bringing a great harm to my loved ones. Instead of losing myself to evilness, I am practicing God's words whenever I faced turbulent in my life.

Lately I am haunted by my boyfriend's pasts. 

It took him great courage to confess all his sins to me, afraid that I might judge him and lost my temper.

Thank God he is no more the person he used to be, he is now a valiant man.

But honey, can you please confess everything in one time, instead of throwing a bomb to me every now and then as my heart is as fragile as a glass?

To keep your dark secret underneath your heart forever or to make yourself vulnerable in telling the truth? 
You will feel the true revolution, if you choose to spill the black potion. 

The Traveller

Dedicated to Izzy, Claire, Maria, Slava, Priscilla, Justus and Catarina,

Inspired by my dearest couch surfers.


Izzy, my first surfer once told us the amazing experience of her Kiwi employer while we were picnicking at Brighton Beach.
Her employer was able to live without any money in his pocket while he was backpacking.
In fact he was working hard and travelling smart at the same time.
Anything is possible as long as we are willing to work hard.


I admire Priscilla's bravery, as she is a real survivor.
 It was interesting to know that she is close to one of her couch surfing host and actually travels with them in New Zealand.
The father of this family is a journalist and the whole family travel all around the globe.
Surprisingly all the children were born in different countries.
What a gypsy lifestyle! Priscilla told me she wants to live like a gypsy as well!


We met Tanit and Jordi in Japan.
They said precious items actually bring burden, if we never own them we never have to worry about their safety!
To be able to live freely without worrying about our precious items is one of the happiest things on earth. Their approach has leave a deep impact in my life.
When we were travelling in Japan, we were rushing to cover as many places as we can and took as many photos as possible -- to keep the memories tangible.
On the other hand, Tanit and Jordi were having a fun and just relax while travelling.
Thanks to them, I have learn to take everything easy, always look around and enjoy my surrounding, instead of busy shooting everything with my cameras.
Learning to let go will conquer the biggest fear in our lives.


The best thing of travelling is to share wonderful and interesting stories with family and new found friends. It's not about showing off how many countries one has been to, it's sharing!
Just like when Catarina told us there is an Onion Festival in Switzerland every November and baked us a onion cake, we were so grateful to learn about it this way!


We see European backpackers everywhere and I really salute them for their independent personalities.
They worked very hard since they were in their teens and saved all up for travelling.
On the contrary, most Asian are very family dependent and most of us are unwilling to get out from our comfort zone.


So... to step out of my comfort zone look and like a gypsy, I am planning to do a dreadlocks like Priscilla's and Justus's!

Tea In The Garden

Mad Hatter: Would you like a little more tea? 

March Hare: Well, I haven't had any yet, so I can't very well take more. 
Red Queen: Ah, you mean you can't very well take less. 
Mad Hatter: Yes. You can always take more than nothing. 

                                                                    

       

We made the props for the Red Queen until midnight, 

then I woke up at 7am to set up the table, tea cups, cookies, red dates, butter, apples and flowers in our courtyard. 
Ran back home excitingly to wake my boyfriend and Catarina up:

" Wake up! Wake up! We have some shooting to do!" 

They laughed and yawned.

I have been wanting to shoot a version of Alice in Wonderland Tea Time Theme at our 

red brick wall with flower bushes courtyard for such a long time. 

Then came Catarina, the perfect blonde model to be my Red Queen!

She was too tall for the red dress - 

like an Alice who drank the potion and became so tall which made the red dress looked so tiny.

Deciding outfits for the Mad Hatter character was a hard one. I gathered all the hats we have, 

put a price tag and a pigeon's feather on it, and matched them with checked outfits. 

I was quite pleased with the outcome.

Some would ask me why there was no Alice in the shoot,

well simply it's because I think that the Red Queen is a more attractive character, 

or simply because I don't have an Alice's custom in my wardrobe...

The Red Queen and Mad Hatter were insanely hungry that they finished all the cookies just after 

I shouted DONE! for the shooting session. Then a Blue Dwarf passed by and joined us for very lovely breakfast prepared by the Mad Hatter under the cozy morning sun-

English muffins, scrambled egg, orange juice, homemade apricot jam, and salad (odd one)..

Thank you all so much for willing to get up early and be my guests-of-honour at the tea! 

Here are some of the behind-the-scene...

              

              

Maysaa The Diva

We planned for something extravagant in her shoot

We took out all her chain bags

All her lingeries and all her bears

We played with the curtain

We light the smoke

To make her a Diva!